


American as Pie

by Trewestriandta



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Gen, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-05
Updated: 2018-09-05
Packaged: 2019-07-07 12:03:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15907911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trewestriandta/pseuds/Trewestriandta
Summary: Steve Roger's isnt known for subtle actions but sometimes its the little things that count.





	American as Pie

**Author's Note:**

  * For [curlsincriminology](https://archiveofourown.org/users/curlsincriminology/gifts).



> Curlsincriminology was having a shit day so I offered to write a story prompt for them as distraction.
> 
> The prompt: Steve Rogers Marvel

It was a whole new world but Steve noticed almost immediately that people made assumptions about him. More than just the stars and stripes that he wore as part of the costume, more than just being called Captain more than his own name, Steve noticed it in how people expected him to react.

  
Some people seemed to expect him to cling to the ground, screaming that the world was spinning too quickly and that everything left him afraid. Some people watched him as if they were waiting for him to bleed star spangled banners. A lot of people acted like he should be far more lost in the world than he actually felt.

  
Apparently no one recalled that he was an Irish Catholic kid that had grown up in Brooklyn picking fights with any bully he met and it was long past time he gave certain people a gentle reminder that this punk at least, knows how to roll with life’s punches. Sometimes a lot more literally than figuratively, though people at least were more hesitant to get into a fist fight with him now that he wasn’t under 6’. Or asthmatic. Or constantly sick or injured, or sick and injured.

  
Considering how often he had to go in and pull his less durable friends out of the sometimes literal fire, Steve felt he understood Bucky’s pinched irritation a bit better. Pre-serum and Steve had been known to spit in the eye of fascists, had lost teeth for doing just that in fact, and Bucky had to either jump into the fight to help or stand behind Steve so that the fight was avoided all together. Being filled with the need to do something in the face of tyrants didn’t mean having the power to do so, and Steve knew better than most that sometimes defiance was necessary in spite of not having any power at all so he didn’t blame his fellow Avengers for their gumption, but it did make him appreciate the tough situations he’d put Bucky in all those years ago.

  
Still felt like just yesterday.

  
So he started with something innocuous; the swear jar. Steve knew that the first person to suffer for it was going to be Tony. It wasn’t that their host was all that profane, though sometimes the things he said just made no sense whatsoever, it was just that he liked to act as if Steve were some farm born kid raised in utter isolation. The rest just sort of followed along after him, from Nat’s teasing that Steve was a ‘fossil’ to Sam constantly adding things to his list to try and catch up on.

  
Steve was fairly certain he’d never know what the hell a Pokemon was, or how he was supposed to ‘catch them all’. A part of him suspected Sam was just trying to mess with him about it but he knew better than to try and use ANY computer Tony had access to, to try and research the matter. Google was a wonderful, fantastic invention and Steve was entirely certain that Tony was going to find a way to flag ANY search Steve did to try and bother him about it later.

  
So one morning while making coffee, Steve had simply set out a cleaned mason jar and taped a piece of paper to it reading: SWEAR JAR $5

  
And then he waited.

  
Steve rose with the sun, not so much a good boy habit as the fact that his body now only seemed to need 3 hours of sleep, so he was often the first person awake. Though there had been a few notable occasions where Tony was technically up first but only because the man had never actually gone to sleep the night before. Steve might have been the soldier and not Tony, but he knew shell shock when he saw it and Tony had it written all over his face those mornings.

  
Today though, Tony had made it to sleep and Steve simply leaned against the kitchen counter and enjoyed his cup of coffee. He knew the others would wake up soon; the smell of good, rich grinds usually enough to rouse even the deepest of sleepers and he’d asked Jarvis to ensure that the smell made it into the bedrooms this morning.

  
He wasn’t actually surprised when Clint made it out before the rest of the team. That man might as well bleed caffeine at this point of his life, and Steve just watched as Clint poured out a pair of mugs, one a garish yellow-green colour and the other a plain black. As soon as he finished pouring the coffees, one with enough sugar in it to be alarming and the other with just a dollop of honey, Natasha entered the kitchen and claimed the coffee with the alarming amount of sugar in it.

  
Steve shot Clint an warning look but the man just winked at him and sipped his own drink.  
Natasha caught Clint’s eyes, staring the man down deliberately as she drank the entire cup of sugary sludge in one single gulp.

  
Steve was fairly certain that was an act of what Sam liked to call ‘Big Dick Energy’. Back in his day, stiff dick meant good advice so it was a term he was still cautious using in new context. Either way, he said nothing and simply refilled both his cup and the coffee maker, knowing there was more to come.

  
This time when Clint filled the coffee mugs it was with far more reasonable distributions.  
Both archer and assassin had spotted the mason jar with its label, no doubt likely already figuring out the source of it too. The fact that neither one felt the need to remark on it was probably an indication that this wasn’t as subtle as Steve had intended, but he persisted anyways.

  
The next person into the kitchen was Tony.  
“What the hell?” whatever time it was Tony had made his way to bed last night, it was clearly not long enough to actually sleep because he looked terrible.

  
“That will be $5 in the jar, Sir.” Jarvis’ voice cheerily called out without prompting and Steve hastily brought his coffee cup up to hide his smile.

  
It didn’t matter; Tony squinted suspiciously and turned to glare at him anyways. “Was it you, wonder boy? Did you mess with MY AI?”

  
Steve made himself blink innocently, much harder to pull off now that he was 100 pounds heavier than the last time he’d looked innocent. “Me? But I don’t know how to use these new-fangled devices Tony.” He protested mildly.

  
“Bullshit,” Tony barked but Jarvis interrupted whatever he was going to say next.

  
“That’ll be $10 now Sir. Shall I have Pepper Potts deposit it in a single bill or will you be adding to the total amount Sir?” Steve hadn’t asked Jarvis to get that smart about it but he certainly appreciated the AI’s vigour.

  
“I will turn you into a toaster Jarvis,” Tony grumbled out, stomping over to the coffee without another word.

  
By the end of the day there was over $300 in the jar, mostly small bills and change but there was a single $100 bill that Steve knew Jarvis had pestered Tony into depositing. Apparently even if there was no one else around to hear it, the AI was taking Steve’s Swear Jar as a law to uphold. That or it liked bothering Tony as much as Steve did.

  
“You, stars and stripes, this is all you.” Tony finally confronted him as Steve washed the dishes after dinner.

  
They had a machine for that but there was something satisfying about doing the menial task himself. And it gave him something to do. “Tony I wouldn’t know how to program Jarvis if my life depended on it.” He admitted honestly.

  
“You didn’t have to! I can see your fingerprints all over this Captain.” Tony came over and rummaged through drawers, clearly searching for something.

  
“And why would I want to convince your AI to keep you honest to the swear jar Tony?” Steve kept his tone mild as Tony produced a drying towel with an extravagant AHA! expression.

  
“Because you want me to be unhappy.” Tony quipped but didn’t hesitate to pick up the plates Steve was washing to dry them.

  
“If I wanted you unhappy wouldn’t I just start telling old stories about your dad?” he purposefully needled.

  
Tony sighed, a long drawn out sound full of deliberately dramatic irritation. “Because I keep getting on you about understanding modern tech.”

  
Steve made an ‘Oh really' expression and kept quiet. If all Tony had got on him about was not understanding modern tech then this little demonstration wouldn’t be necessary. So of course his patience won out against Tony's, though neither was as calm as they wanted it to be. “And because I keep trying to translate current slang into whatever shi….garbage,” he managed to censor himself and Steve couldn’t help smiling, “you guys used to use.”

  
“Tony, I spent most of my life being called punk,” Steve knew the term meant different things know but it got the point across, “and only a few years as Captain America. I’m a whole other person then the one you keep trying to get one up on.”

  
And for a insightful moment, Tony remained quiet and they finished washing the dishes.  
“Alright Steve,” at last he caught on, “your point has been made. But I will revert under stress, it’s an unhealthy coping mechanism but it’s all I got.”

  
“Do your best Tony, that’s all I ask.” Steve laughed, knowing there was nothing personal about it at least.

  
“Come on, don’t do me dirty like that Cap.” Tony whined and Steve laughed, draining the sink and wiping his hands.

  
“Go.” Steve pointed to the door and just shook his head, still laughing.

  
“Yeah yeah I got work to do anyways.” Tony left but not without one last, “and lose the fucking jar.”

  
“Sir!” Jarvis barked and Steve's ribs began to ache.


End file.
